In recognition of National Health Care Decisions Day (NHCDD) on April 16th, the Aging Inspired Advance Care Planning Coalition of Lebanon County encourages everyone to have a conversation with their family or loved ones.
Have the conversation today
“It always seems too early, until it’s too late.” This quote created by the founder of National Healthcare Decisions Day sums up what so many have said when they are filled with guilt, anxiety, and depression over the death of a loved one where they were called on to make the decisions. “We just never talked about what they would have wanted….”
It’s an all-too-common refrain from loved ones who waited too long to have conversations about end-of-life care preferences.
I, myself, live with regret of a decision made with my husband as he neared the end of his life.
We followed the expert recommendations of his care team to move him from home to inpatient hospice care, but he and I both knew he wished to die at home. When the decision had to be made, he was so close to death that we couldn’t have the conversation with his family. And in the end, they didn’t understand why I would make this decision by myself. Which I hadn’t – he and I had lots of discussions. He just never shared them with his family.
Seventeen years later, I still wonder: “What if…?”
Today – not tomorrow – we all should consider if our wishes are known by those who will speak for us when we near death. And how our family will deal with our decisions. Will it be to fight against what we have chosen, or to lovingly embrace our wishes for a more natural death if possible?
Advance care planning is not just about old age. At any age, a medical crisis could leave you too ill to make your own health care decisions.
Even if you are not sick now, making health care plans for the future is an important step toward making sure you get the medical care you would want. It guides doctors and family members, your loved ones or the people most important to you in making the decisions for you.
Have the conversation today with your loved ones. At the end of any advance care planning conversation, you should have these “five wishes” clearly understood by your family:
Who do you want to represent you when you can’t make health care decisions for yourself due to your medical or mental condition? This should be at least two people, and preferably three so you have your primary decision-maker and two people as resources and back-up in case they cannot be available.
What extreme measures do you wish to have taken to prolong your life if death seems imminent? This includes CPR, other aggressive life support treatments such as Intubation/Ventilation, Dialysis, or Tube Feeding and pain management.
How comfortable do you wish to be when you are near death? How can Hospice Care enable you to lead a longer, higher quality end-of-life experience and support your caregivers in this journey?
How do you want people to treat you? Whether or not you wish to die at home?
How you will share your stories with those you love, and what do you want your family to do for arrangements once you die?
Here is what you can do today to plan for your health horizon:
Gather resources. Find conversation starters, issues to consider and instructions for completing advance directives through presentations by the Aging Inspired Advance Care Planning Coalition of Lebanon County.
Start with yourself: What are your own health care decisions? Consider what will be important as you near death. Involve loved ones: Mutually share your wishes. Have many conversations as life and health changes.
Readiness: Give your advance care plans to your physician/hospital so your wishes can be known and honored. Be sure your health care agents, and those people in your family, your loved ones or the people who are most important to you all have a copy as well.
The Aging Inspired Advance Care Planning Coalition of Lebanon County has many resources available for our community members to make this conversation easier. Please contact us to schedule an event for your church, organization, company, or group.
No one can escape death. You should plan for it before it’s too late. You and your family will be glad you did.
For more information about Aging Inspired Initiative and the Aging Inspired Advance Care Planning Coalition’s programs and events, please contact Nicki Gray, Executive Director of the Community Health Council of Lebanon County at communityhalthcouncil.com/aging or at 717-270-7935.
Editor’s Note: This article was written by Roberta Geidner, Horizon Planning Manager at WellSpan Health, and a member of the Aging Inspired Advance Care Planning Coalition.
